Updated: Jun 6, 2019
Self love, I know lots of you might be hearing this lately. Seems like it doesn't need much explanation, but telling someone to have self love tends to leave people without any actionable direction. Great, thanks for the advice, I know I should love myself...but what now?
Why do we need self love? What does it actually mean? How do we truly accomplish it? And more importantly, how do we maintain it? Glad you asked ;)
Self love is the ability to put ourselves first. No it's not selfish. Yes there is always time. To be there for those around us and relying on us, we have to fill our own cup up first. You with me so far? That doesn't mean you have to take hours out of your day to do that either. It can be as simple as every time someone asks you for a favor, take (4) 4 second inhale/exhale breaths before answering or doing what was asked. You've now put yourself first before doing something for someone else. You're also going into it calmer and more relaxed. That took seconds and now you just showed the universe you put yourself first, which in turn gets mirrored to you. That could show up by others either in relationships, job opportunities, everyday life, etc. This is also great for others around you to see, like if you're raising small (or big) humans. You want them to put themselves first so others do the same, why are you any different?
Applying this creates a snowball affect, in an amazingly great way. No harm has ever come from putting yourself first. Just like the idea of the oxygen mask on an airplane. They tell you to put it on yourself first before assisting others. Great example. Are you more useful putting it on one person and passing the F out? Or putting it on yourself and saving the whole plane because your ass is oxygenated up and ready to go? That's a little dramatic, but you get the idea.
Start small then work your way up. That could even mean, not cancelling that once a week art class, drinks with friends or going to the gym because you're behind on chores or need to help a family member with something. You think your time is better used for what HAS to get done, but you'll be surprised how the universe rewards you for putting yourself first. Maybe you'll come home to someone who has already done some of the chores or the timing lines up better for helping that friend move and you get it done quicker and with more help than originally expected.
You and others around you will never regret you putting yourself first. It's a must. It's all about that balance idea again. When you give and give and give and forget to give to yourself, the imbalance will pop up somewhere else to remind you to get back in balance. It also sets you up for success to be the best, happiest version of yourself. That way you are even more affective in that role you play for others. If we slip out of alignment with self love, the universe will start sending situational 'gifts' our way. The idea is to try and get our attention before we go down a road of being tapped out, drained, stressed, you name it. When they start to stockpile it means we might be missing the signals that were much smaller leading up to it. It's all about the lessons and growth, so the universe gets louder and louder until the sign is acknowledged. Not for any other reason than to get us back into alignment and on our soul path, which simply put.....the happiest version of ourselves.
This week start a habit of putting yourself first. Could be the deep breaths, could be carving out 2 minutes to zone out on your phone, watching your favorite show, or pushing off that event or thing you REALLY don't want to do for an hour longer and going to the gym. It could even be sitting and eating chicken wings (or whatever veggie version of that floats your boat), whatever your heart desires. The idea is that it circles back to the concept of what makes you feel like you are doing something for you. Just know if you are someone who says there is no time, start small and work your way up. You also want it to be something you can do daily or even throughout your day (IE: the deep breaths example). Anything you choose is great, it's a step in the right direction. It will be easy when you see how great it feels and how things just fall into place when you're more balanced in the self love department.