Updated: Oct 9, 2019
Mental health - what a loaded topic. To each of us it resonates differently, yet we all have experience with it one way or another. A lot of the time we think of it as something that is out of our control, which can make us feel helpless. But actually that is the exact opposite. What if I told you that focusing on your own mental health, would directly effect the mental health of others and your exposure to it?
Mental health is not targeted and narrowed down to those visibly suffering. We could be dealing with mental health in any area of our life. From our own personal views of how we see ourselves and our actions, how we worry and fret about others we care about, or even stuck in repetitive thought behaviors with no real action towards growth. I don't think it will come as a shock that the stresses of everyday life can be contributors to our mental health; family, career, finances, health, parenting, etc. With the ultimate fear of what most of us consider the most negative side effect of depleted mental health; believing this world would be a better place with out us in it. I know you’re probably like; whoa B, that took a turn. Yes, it does seem to be a heavy topic and a lot of people run for the hills or quietly panic inside when this is brought up, but it doesn’t have to be that way. There's no norm when it comes to mental health, we are all individualized for a reason - so what we deal with in our life and how we handle it should be too. Back to my point about focusing on our OWN mental health, to have an impact on others. By doing so we create more strength in our life, experiences and for those around us - the whole mirror effect idea. You want to help others? Start with yourself. In the simplest terms; the better off you are, the better off those around you will be. Same concept if you are the one wanting to make the shift; focus on yourself not others or their beliefs, opinions, feedback, etc. Go back to trusting yourself and what is best for you at the moment and see that through.
I don't know anyone who doesn't want strong(er) mental health so we all can benefit from some of the same tools, by applying them to our specific circumstances. Where to start? I find the 'why' and 'what to expect' is a good place. Any of us dealing with any sort of mental noise, have been bumped off of our soul path AKA the road to get us to what we were put here to do. Could be in relation to our career, hobbies, relationships, volunteer work, etc. It's whatever creates the biggest impact, utilizes your uniqueness and brings about the most happiness. For each of us that is so very different. Pinpointing that is life changing, all else seems to fall into place and make sense. Detouring from this, manifests in all sorts of scenarios depending on what is most important to us at the moment. It's all with the intention to get us to take notice so we can recalibrate, rebalance and acknowledge.
Another piece I’ve noticed when working with people that have dealt with hardships, addiction or one traumatic event after another; they all have the same thing in common. They are some of the most sensitive light beings I’ve ever come across, therefore their need to quiet the noise and numb the emotions is their number one priority. They've never been given the tools to recognize these attributes as unique and amazing, let alone how to manage them - so they turn to substances or reckless behavior.
For example, addiction is just a label. It doesn’t really explain the root of the behavior. A lot of people say it’s genetic, like alcoholism. But the part that's actually genetic about it is the life experiences, trauma, beliefs and how we were raised to handle situations as they crossed our path. If we aren’t ever shown how to utilize or acknowledge our gifts it becomes loud, overwhelming and lonely, therefore substances get brought into the picture to numb that feeling. All of the above behavior creates deep neural pathways in the brain, that then puts us on a path to naturally repeating that behavior, BUT it doesn't mean it has to stay that way. With the same effort it can be reprogrammed and new neural pathways can be created with a new outcome in mind. Now this doesn't mean protocols in the addiction department aren't beneficial, it just depends on the individual. We just want to address the limiting thought processes and lack of individualized tools that started this wild ride in the first place. That way the process and effort we are putting in can be that much more powerful and effective.
Most clients in the above circumstances, tend to be the hardest on themselves. Creating a vicious cycle to breed more of the given reckless behavior; due to negative self talk, guilt, shame and the list goes on and on. Deep down on a soul (sometimes unconscious) level, we know what we're capable of and we get frustrated when we're making choices that don't align with that. In this circumstance we are missing to notice two things. One: We are missing the tool that we can easily implement; to see that every trait, behavior and thing about us is perfect and for a very specific reason. Two: the understanding that we can’t expect to make choices based on tools we don’t have an understanding of yet. If you had never driven a car before, or even knew what one was for that matter, and I threw you the keys and said "move that over there". You would have no clue what to do. If you tried to figure it out on your own, it would take foooorreeevveerrr and lots of trial and error before you would actually execute it - if ever. Same idea. We can’t beat ourselves up for something we had no awareness of in the first place. If you were meant to make different choices, you would have had the tools and experience to do so. Got it? You have exactly what you are meant to in each given moment.
Those that know me or have followed along over the last year, know that I am no stranger to mental health. In the most simplest and extreme of forms. I think we see suicide as the peak of diminished mental health. Yet it’s also the point where the most growth, awareness and lessons come from. Not gonna lie, I cringe when I hear the suggestion to feeling out of control in this department: call a hotline. There IS a place for this, from my experience we just need to elevate the tools available in all areas of our mental health bag of tricks. We are always in a state of growth, so this isn't a bad thing. Back to the idea we can only do so much with the tools we have at the given time. If you're looking for support yourself and what you have access to just isn't cutting it OR you're a part of someone's process as they navigate their own mental health: call me, text me, email me, message me, smoke signal....whatever you gotta do. My experiences have led me to see that EVERYTHING can be figured out. Of course I would have loved to of been that person for my husband, Bob. To be honest though, with my abilities and what I know now - I know I wouldn't have gotten to this point I'm at or in the timeframe he needed the help in, without things happening the way that they did. I guess it was his turn to help me in this lifetime. The lessons and growth that have come out of my time with him from start to finish, have been invaluable.
Perspective. I’ve become really good at pulling the good, positive, lessons and growing opportunities from not great situations. In helping others see that EVERY action, trait, thing about them and their life, past and thought process as perfect; is one of my favorite things about what I do. Yesterday, today, tomorrow - it’s all leading us to where we are meant to be. If your lessons are loud, take that as a compliment. The universe (or whatever you believe in) knows what you're capable of and they have decided putting in the time, energy and effort to getting you to learn these lessons - is worth it. They put a lot of value on getting us on our soul path - this world is a better place when that's the case. If you have their attention, it’s for a reason. So stop. (Collaborate and listen. Juuuust kidding, I couldn’t help myself.) Take a deep breath (a few). Know that you got this. The universe ALWAYS has your back and best interest in mind. I have your back and you can have 100% control of your life and it’s outcome. You just need to take 100% responsibility for all things in your life. I know what you're thinking, but it’s not about right and wrong, that doesn’t matter. No lesson to be learned from blaming others. There are way more effective tools like: loving yourself, putting yourself first, lighting up your life with fun, interests, hobbies and noticing where each experience is a finger pointing to an imbalance or a pat on the back. Giving you that opportunity to learn from EVERY experience in your life. Why not?
This week take something that you are really hard on yourself about or even something you hear from others. Find the thing that is great about it and see how that has impacted your life now, going forward or for others, in a positive way. You now have acknowledged it, broke a behavior cycle and balanced it out - now watch for the universe to let up. I’m sure some of you are saying "that’s easier said than done". So I’ll give you another tip. Release the social norm, for anything and everything in your life. Who made up those rules anyways? Society, upbringing, our desire to compare ourselves to others? Doesn’t really matter, but it’s not beneficial for any of us. It actually diminishes our star brightness quality and it’s a low vibrational action. No need for it. Byeeeee. Things will shift and the things, people and experiences you are white knuckling might fall away, but that’s ok! Come to peace with that. It just means they weren’t meant for you anyways. Good riddance. Find comfort in knowing they WILL be replaced with what you’re a match to, which just means you are becoming that much more aligned with your soul pull. Back to that responsibility thing, you have the ability to decide how quickly you shift and however long that takes for you, is absolutely perfect. You can totally want more for yourself and want to change your actions, while appreciating everything you are and have been through at the same time. It's actually the quickest way to make a shift. Try it.
Free your mind, and the rest will follow.
Ok, I couldn't help myself. Again. I’m done with the 90’s song references....For now.
Call me :)