We tend to think the sun rises and sets on emotions. We give them a lot of value, in turn creating a lot we expect from others and how they should respect, be made aware and acknowledge our given emotions. They can also can rob us blind. Some people see them and think; dude, life isn't worth living without emotion. But is it? What is it we are putting on a pedestal about it? The high we get when we feel good? Because I don't know anyone that gets super jacked up about the lows of emotions. If you do, let me know....ya little freak ;)
Why do I bring this up, you ask? Well, our emotions have a tendency to run our lives, not add color to it. For example; financially we want more money in our bank account so we try and start saving and being mindful of spending. Our emotion here is fear, not feeling good enough, like we don't have enough, embarrassed, guilty, angry, operating from a place of lack - you name it. We go out of your way to make ourselves root to the concept that we don't have enough. The inside spiral that takes place, is now on a loop and creating a deep neural pathway. It doesn't take much to create a path - but the emotion behind it is what creates the severity of it. We are now giving energy and emotion to back it up - which allows it to gain speed and traction, against exactly what we are trying to avoid. The long term fear is crippling and taking over how we do everything. Have I painted the picture yet? Don't worry your pretty little head, it can all be shifted. Instead, if we release the emotion from it and see it as black and white - we are able to make decisions from a place that brings about quick and effortless results. Have you ever noticed the high of emotions doesn't last as long as the low? The low of emotions tends to linger with us longer. That's because once we accomplish one thing, we are already on to the next before we are even done celebrating the accomplishment. Don't miss the fun shit in between. Getting a grip on managing emotions is an important ingredient to make that happen.
Example: relationships...I know, buckle up. Anyone I've ever dated, is like oh shit - is she about to Taylor Swift me? Don't worry.... I've mentioned before, my lessons in this new life (that started almost 2 years ago), are on hyper speed. So it's not so much about the people that step in, and more about what I'm supposed to take from it. It's no secret I have a story and I'm very open about it, so the fact that people are now intrigued by my dating life....says my lessons are fast, interesting and well.....my life.
Back to my very relatable but not too specific example. We start talking with someone, things are going easy breezy, especially since no one really has any skin in the game....yet. No pun intended, orrr did I intend? ;) Well as things become consistent and we invest more of our time (time is all we got people), emotions take over and we start to build up expectations. The expectations are an automated response we have been programmed with, to protect our emotions and try and set others up for success. Or so we think. Whether they are coming from past experiences, trauma, old patterns, a gut feeling, or just because we aren't really aware of what we are doing - it's happening. I even catch myself doing it at times. Like I said, emotions insert themselves everywhere and majority of the time - that bitch is not helpful. I'll tell you why....
By adding emotion fuel to our relationship fire, or anything we do for that matter, we are either working off of a high or a low. We then are now operating from an almost fake place and one where we are already expecting the person to fail, so we want to control the outcome. We also want them to see by setting up expectations we are showing them we value ourselves and they should too. I'm gonna burst a bubble...it's not how it works. And in my experience even with the most clear expectations - the universe will override whatever you think you 'need'. Our emotions get us wrapped up in a long term result, goal, need or want. By controlling it, we actually miss what REALLY is supposed to unfold and short changing our ability to trust. Trust in the fact that things are always working out for our highest good.
Another reason why emotions are not a helpful place to operate and intuit from; the whole perspective idea. You could have the same situation or experience and each person going through it, will have a different perception on whether it is a good or bad thing - which triggers the given emotion to match. We are all very individualized and unique and have our own set of circumstances that no one else will have - therefore, no two people are truly alike. This is also why it makes it empowering to show up as our most authentic version of ourselves, because we were put here with each attribute and trait for what our experiences and life allow us to do with them. Even the attributes that society might view as negative or harmful. There are 4,000 attributes and we are ALL of them, every single one, all at the SAME TIME. The example my teacher gave me awhile back; someone who has stolen something, in short, has now taught the owner how to better protect themselves and their belongings. Either to boost security and safety options - to avoid something in the future that could be life threatening (that's worth some stuff being stolen, right?), or they might be drawn to connect with family and friends for support that they wouldn't have otherwise - which in turn betters everyone involved, or maybe when they go to replace the stolen items - they cross paths with a soulmate or someone they were meant to meet that is going to play a key role in their life going forward. None of the above would have happened if they weren't addressing being stolen from. I could go on and on about the ripple effect, of what 1 person might see as a negative and how that specific thing can in turn improve multiple lives, including the person it happened to.
So back to the bitch in question - emotions. By operating from this space of emotion, we muddy up our intuition, put value to things that might not deserve it and heighten the given energy - putting maximum speed and power behind exactly what we are trying to avoid. An elevated way to view things, is from a space of being neutral. Ok, Ok, get back here. Just listen for a second. I know that sounds SUPER boring. Like OMG, you just sucked the fun out of the room, lady. But think about it this way - the high we come down from when we are excited about something, is a shock because our head is in the clouds, so we end up tripping and we now have further to fall. When things are down, we tend to think getting back to the top is unreachable. So much so, that we avoid even looking up because we are too busy staring at the ground. We then miss when good things come our way to pull us out of it, because we are so focused on what is not going right.
The emotions we attach have to do with an outcome we are wanting and how we think we will feel when we get there. We'll feel better, look better, be better, happier, etc. etc. etc. That's not how life works. We have all had experience with this - so you know what I'm talking about. When we approach it this way, our emotions are never satisfied and it can be a constant managing of a funk. I don't want to be a funk manager, do you? I did make that sound kind of fun though, didn't I? It's not.
This isn't to say emotions can't be felt, but by tracing out the root when they pop up - is the key to ebbing and flowing through life.
To be neutral, is actually a more enjoyable way to live, not to mention a higher frequency action - which just attracts more of that. Like attracts like (I'll keep repeating that in every post until you're annoyed with me). The feeling of neutrality, brings a sense of calm and awareness. Being neutral is different than not caring. There is a magic in releasing the white knuckle grip we have on a given outcome. It allows things to move along in our favor - it takes work and practice, but it's doable. There is also that piece of, the universe releases it's grip when we finally learn the lesson being presented. I can't tell you how many times that has been abundantly clear over the last couple years. In all areas of my life. It's like the, Aha! moment. And it makes you smile and laugh. And go: WTF, really?!
It's about being present, grateful and seeing the good (like really seeing it, not just 'trying' to be positive) in what is going on in each moment. This isn't hippie shit I'm trying to throw at you. It's what I've learned from living a life that was not so aligned, to seeing how it had to take something tragic for me to wake the F up. We can learn our lessons without tragedy, if we put in the work. And those of us that have to go through some shit, I see you - it's not lost on me that Nash and I are not the only ones that have dealt with 'stuff'.
Ok, the homework...There are a couple ways we can manage our emotions. We can start with slowing down our breathing, tapping our heart and recalling a happy memory, and bringing mindfulness to our feet and legs. This slows down our nervous system, puts us in a happy heart space and back into our body. This is something I do often, life tends to pull us out of our bodies throughout the day. We can even be out of our bodies when we are super excited about something. Stay in yo bodies people. That's why staying neutral is so bomb. Ok, I don't know what's happening...I should probably end this post before things get weird. Too late! What's new. Anyways...
We operate so much more efficiently when we are able to see things clearer and make decisions based on our intuition, opposed to emotions. For example, acting out of fear, does not produce strong results, it creates more situations and experiences to be fearful about. Try this week to get your bitch on a leash (your emotions).
Try it. Then let me know what you think. We see so much more beauty through the lens of neutrality. We are able to catch the magic in all that comes our way. The more we master this - the more we are able to absorb the fulfilling life that is waiting for us. You'll know what I'm talking about when you experience it - It's bitchin. Ok bye.